Eidolon

Behind eased eyes
an aura appears
flares and rarefies
like the afterimage
from a bright light
shifting and shaping
to gaseous lace
or eerily esoteric
fairy aeriform.
Into the dream
wisplike she springs
finespun and sparse
fashioning a face
from a lifetime ago
to be touched
one last time
before vanishing
to the void.

00b

 

50 thoughts on “Eidolon

    • Thanks DVH and yes, the dream was quite teasing in that nano-second of flashback from my innocent (?) youth DVH. Funny how the subconscious pulls tricks like that out of the blue – it just begged to be written.

  1. You have summed up the crafting of your poem in one of the lines: “finespun and sparse”; sparse in that each word carries a stroke of the brush – needed and significant for the picture – without any padding; and finespun – so beautifully crafted. Great writing… the ‘fineness’ of the poem is just like the lace of the ethereal image and feeling contained within. :-)

    • Angela your words are a poem in themselves and your interpretation accurately illustrates the brevity that I tried to achieve here. Thank you for this scrupulous study and fine endorsement of this work.

  2. I enjoyed your poem and the way that it seems to float and hover on the page, like something out of a stream of consciousness. There are no unnecessary words. You kept the wording spare without losing the meaning. Nice work!

  3. I find myself just listening to the flow of the words rather than the sense. They have an ethereal sound. I love the ‘fairy aeriform’ combination, and the ambiguity (to me anyway) of the ending which leaves it unclear which void she is disappearing into—her own or the poet’s.

    • Funny you should mention those two words Jane – about once a year I trip over a combo like that (which keeps me smiling for the other 364 days). I was trying for harmonics and out it popped. The void? She faded away as the dream ended and I might never dream her face again, so she’s gone. Thanks heaps for your perception and appreciation Jane.

  4. I was going to write about how much I like the first two lines, but that would be unfair to the rest of the poem – many of the words I might have chosen to describe it are used to great effect by the commentators above – overall, your use of various poetic devices make for an enchanting read – ethereal yet evocative all at the same time. You smashed it with this one Mike.

    • Golly. I’m quite thunderstruck with your words Polly. I feel extraordinarily gratified to have someone who could discern and appreciate the structural elements I built into this, let alone pay it such compliments. You’ve made my day and I thank you with the greatest sincerely.

  5. How our minds hold on to emotive images…and how we are struck when they reemerge at some point in time. Sadly, sometimes that image ends up more captivating than the person actually is/was (that’s my experience anyway, though maybe in this case she is as alluring as the vision).

    • Yes H, our subconscious can come up the long-forgotten – it freaks me out occasionally :D And while it is also true that we aggrandise the reality in such cases, I believe it is the job of a poet to exaggerate that reality above and beyond the norm. I have plenty of time to ponder the psychology of it when I move from my desk to the ironing board. Reality? Bah!

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