Fugitive Fragments

by Mike McGuire

Mysterious Ways

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In pagan lands with purpose grand

They build a church or two

And educate the cannibals

To abandon human stew.

They show them how to join their hands

To kneel on bended knee

And explain the impropriety

Of yawns at homily.

They give the men some loincloths

Making women laugh and snigger

(until they’re wrapped in hessian sacks

that fail to flatter figures).

They gasp at all the miracles

And growl at crucifixions

But drop their eyes when all are warned

Of sexual predilections.

Before long they’re all pious folk

And act accordingly

By starting wars with holy aims

All very righteously.

They were such dreadful fighters

They ran from foreign throng

And fell to their own arrows

When headwinds were too strong.

One day the church stood empty

The priest was woebetide

What noble savages remained

Got white man’s flu and died.

The polished pews all advertised

An unbecoming void

He prayed to heaven, “God forbid

The Bishop be annoyed”.

But the Bishop in his palace

To the priest a blessing gave

And quoted theologically

‘God moves in mysterious ways’.

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33 thoughts on “Mysterious Ways

  1. What a creepy and funny poem.

    “abandon human stew” This really conjures up images from childhood nightmares a la Grimm. Thanks for the reminder. :-)

    Alice

  2. gotta love this, not just the theme and thought but the delivery;
    yes!

  3. I love the rhythm of this piece! Well done!

  4. I love this piece. Thank you for stopping by my page, it’s much appreciated. 😊😊

  5. I found this piece particularly moving. I believe so many wrongs could truly be righted if only religion would not interfere in people’s thinking and perceptions. Thank you for a beautiful piece.

  6. Brilliant piece Mike!

  7. I like this one, Mike.

  8. This certainly resonates with what happened here in NZ with Maori (including the human stew bit) – entertaining as always!

  9. Excellent poem.

    If the natives had the opportunity to watch a certain episode of Mr. Bean, they’d know the right way to act during a homily.

  10. stevehi on said:

    I do agree with heartafire, disturbing and funny at the same time. Great lines throughout .

  11. Heartafire on said:

    I was disturbed and amused at the same time…that was fun! fine writing Mike.

  12. human stew – a very disturbing image came to my mind on reading this line. Great poem.

  13. This is practical and a realistic write-up. and in a easily understandable language. Humorous and ironical..’starting wars with holy aims’..

  14. Very good one Mike!

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