Cresting the Ninth Wave
When evening sky foreshadowed certain night
I’d tighten sail to strike for harbour wall,
I feared the dark – had seen its evil rites
And shrank from its hallucinating thrall.
On Dante’s chart I once steered to life’s rim
Where dark sea fiends and beasts by Hydra bred
Brought thoughts of death without a lover’s hymn
Alone, as sad regrets dirged low instead.
I fought Beelzebub where swart tides run,
Mephisto’s breath befouled the air around;
To dull the pain I poured more amber rum,
Dire liquids deep are sea and grog – both drown.
For haze of days I drifted weak, deranged
As Sirens promised peace in Neptune’s bed
But Instinct cast a line – I grasped. Redeemed!
Though thoughts of future’s charted course brought dread.
My rescue then a chance for change, I must
Appraise the steering of my life before;
I learned if heart was healed of succubus,
Satanic thoughts would trouble psyche no more.
So now when prow aims towards horizons dark
I welcome night, to blanket grateful day;
I smile aloft at stars bright guiding cirque,
My glad heart warms and speeds towards promised day.
I love the imagery here… a lot was said on so many levels.
I really like the line:
“My rescue then a chance for change, I must
Appraise the steering of my life before;
I learned if heart was healed of succubus,
Satanic thoughts would trouble psyche no more.
Nicely written. You have a new follower!
I thank you kind sir for your complimentary feedback and for paying me the ultimate bloggers honour by hitching your wagon to my star :P
I’m not a ‘sir’…. hehehhe…. But I do enjoy your writings and will visit your blog often ;-) This was a great post!
so rich! brilliant
I bow in appreciation of your three little words that completely fill my day.
Mike, it is so refreshing to see someone actually crafting poetry; too often what passes for poetry is merely prose in short lines. Lovely to read some rhyming Iambic Pentameter.
My goodness – you do know how to make a man’s day. But what it comes down to is that I stick with a tried and trusted while you sir are at the leading edge of invention.
Well, Mike, you just made *my* day! Thanks very much. I wouldn’t have thought that sticking with tried and trusted poetic forms and techniques is any less inventive – surely it’s how you employ them? We can continue the conversation by PM if you like: My FB page: http://www.facebook.com/VernacularismsJasonORourke
Facebook? Are ya serious…Face-feckin-book? You’re a braver man than I Gunga Din :P
Very Keatsian. Your ability with structure is evident in the formal aspects of this poem, but also in the arc of the narrative. I’m enjoying the mish-mash of classical references–how it makes the speaker seem more like a reader of myths than a mythological hero. I am a little curious what’s going on behind the references, though. Especially toward the end, where there are hints that this is a metaphor for a larger experience.
I eventually decided to accept your first two words and you should know that I don’t believe they’ll ever be far from my mind whenever I look at this piece. As for your astuteness, note the categorisation and accept that I have never commanded a sailing vessel :)
So many times peices like this have too much flush and not enough concept, yours however has a depth and awareness in its own words, not words for words sake. This held me and made me read because I wanted to not because I should. Thank you for your care with language, too often its abused and yet you seem to revere it, a rarity.
I am indeed in love with the language and you are actually the first person to pick up on this in a long time. Your observations in their entirety are especially valued because they show me that you have focused on the core components of the piece. I thank you for your perspicacity.
“When evening sky foreshadowed certain night
I’d tighten sail to strike for harbour wall,
I feared the dark – had seen its evil rites
And shrank from its hallucinating thrall.”
My favorite part is what I quoted above,
You managed to create an amazing tapestry of words. Beautifully written poem.
Tapestry. What a lovely conceptual image – thank you so much for adding that new perspective.
A very lovely dichotomy of abstraction and image.
Such analytic observation helps to determine the directions I follow with my writing – thank you very much.
Excellent. This is what they call “a way with words”. Love the name ‘Mephisto’.
I’m glad you enjoyed this and appreciate you taking the time to comment.
you are a wonderful writer. this is beautiful!
Thank you very much Caroline, that is a wonderful compliment.
Wonderful imagery.
I spent a great deal of time on that aspect of the poem and am very appreciative of your singling it out for mention. Thank you very verily.
Just finding your writings now Mike really looking forward reading and re-reading, I was part of pirate radio broadcasting on land back in the 1980′s. Many thanks for your critique of my “scribbles” your waywith words far and away out weigh anything I put up for posterity!!
Chris.
Kind of you Chris and appreciated but don’t forget that it was you and not I that had their work selected by The Blue Hour. Gotcha :D
My goodness, I’m impressed. As though I were transported to the nineteenth century (except there’s a computer glowing in front of me). And I must sigh at the loneliness and corresponding resolve you convey, so fitting in these cold winter nights.
It is always very gratifying when a reader discerns those very points that I worked to convey Kit. And most encouraging. Thank you kindly.
I’m pleased to have encouraged you…and belatedly realize that though it’s winter here in New York, it’s not a winter night where you are!
You have a way with words, that was beautiful.
You’re very kind to say so Phoebe, I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for reading.
Beautiful and intriguing writing!
Coming from a poet like you Holly I take that as high praise and thank you for gifting it to me today.
I don’t know how you do it, but I love it.
It’s all the poetry I’m reading at WordPress that must be rubbing off on me. I appreciate your comment thanks.
Oh I love this!! Fantastic imagery, masterful use of mythology and brilliant rhythm!! :)
I blush Helen and thank you for reading.
I think that as the poem develops its plot the narrator, which is in first person singular, experiments a transformation or a metamorphosis. In the beginning he fears the dark but doesn’t give up and fights its evils. His fight is not only a physical one, but a mental one. At the end of the poem he is victorious he has won the fights and is no longer afraid of the dark (night); he knows that after the night day will come:
“I welcome night, to blanket grateful day;
I smile aloft at stars bright guiding cirque,
My glad heart warms and speeds towards promised day.”
What a way to end the poem, with beautiful metaphors that create a resolution and makes the reader believe that the protagonist will have better days.
This is indeed what the poem says. What is means is slightly different – the voyage is a metaphor for a period of the narrator’s life but he’s quite stubborn and reluctant to elaborate further. I’m delighted and flattered that you took the time to carry out this practical analysis and thank you for your kind comments. I can also happily assure you that the narrator now enjoys fair-weather sailing on all 7 seas.
Great poem. Reminds me of Poe. I read a few of your poems and really like the range in style and mood.
Praise indeed. Thanks Jon, you’ve just topped up my creative reservoir for the whole day.
This is great, Mike. I have recently been posting poems about blogs that I particularly enjoy! You are on that list!
An honour that I genuinely acknowledge for the accolade that it is, and I thank you accordingly.
It is richly earned…
this was really beautiful..a lovely style..Good to see that Robyn, Roxi and Penny are frequenting your blog:)
Thank you. This one was special so I appreciate your visit all the more. Yes I have been fortunate to get adopted by some serious talent. And you’re continuing this run of good fortune.
A fine Gothic, traditional fable in verse – a free spirit roaming the universe. Every line a treat to read.
I appreciate your taking the time to analyse and comment Ken – thank you.